Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
