Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
