My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it glows. i had to have it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize