Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
