a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
try to milk me bitch
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