i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i have two assholes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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