I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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