I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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