I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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