I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Farmville is her only friend.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize