the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize