I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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