Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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