Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
