We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Every concussion has its silver lining
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
