I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
