Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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