So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize