So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
