my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
