Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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