Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
