the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
