oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's great music for shaving your balls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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