spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize