Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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