We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize