Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
