Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize