So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pants are for mortals
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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