Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
