this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
