every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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