U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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