I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I showed him my bush... on skype.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
