I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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