Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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