So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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