No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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