Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
