haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
