The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
