So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
