ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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