can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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