i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
