Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My liver just had a heart attack.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
