my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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