Nicole vs. Life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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