Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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