I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
