Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
