Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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