Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
