some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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