i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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