yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize