i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
