I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize