I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
