Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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