he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
