He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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