no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
