Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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