dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize