went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
